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What the hell am I doing?

May 23, 2009

I was going to wrap up that series of posts a certain way, but for many reasons I feel it would have just been incoherent and unnecessary (repeating some of the stuff already stated), so I’m not going to do it.

For the last several days I’ve been sitting around not really doing anything, bored out of my mind.  I bought a used laptop on eBay more than a week ago, and every day I’ve been checking the mail hoping for a notification slip telling me there is a package waiting at the post office—but there has been none.  I’ve just wanted the laptop to arrive so I can mess with it all day, installing Linux and configuring and toying around with, but since it hasn’t come I’ve just had nothing to do all day.  Today I’ve just kind of bummed around the house, reading on and off and occasionally just wandering around outside for 10 minutes at a time.  I’m actually really glad that I’ve been reading quite a bit again lately, but I’ve found that when you (I) aren’t (am not) happy with your (my) life you (I) don’t really want to do anything for long.  (It’s not depression, just an unwavering notion that my life is unfulfilling and stupid.)

The laptop is meant to be a travel companion, of sorts, used to make plans and map routes for what I keep telling myself is going to be an adventure this summer.  Whether I go through with it or whether I puss out is yet to be seen.  I’ll explain this adventure in a little more detail (maybe) another time.  I need it, though, for my own mental health.

Lately I just really feel like I don’t know what I’m talking about, but despite this feeling I’m going to go back to doing a post a week for a while (Edit, July 8: This was a complete lie.  Sorry.), at least until I bail out.  The content of these posts will probably be decided last minute, some being more interesting that others.

Also, last night I re-read then Anthropik post 5 Common Objections to Primitivism, and Why They’re Wrong, and I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn’t, or has, read it.

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